Waking up one day and realizing your world just isn't working for you is the first step into an incredibly exciting new journey. That awakening is to be the first of many. Maybe you've been reading self improvement books and feeling like something is missing. That's a sure sign your life may be changing, especially if you are beginning to question your own spirit.

Have you listened to yourself lately? I mean really listened? Did you hear anything? Maybe your inner voice has been quiet and suppressed for so long it forgot how to speak. Maybe it really has wanted to speak but hasn't been given permission.

Recently I saw the result of a study on one of the prime-time news shows. The study showed that by the time a child is five years old, that child will have been told "No!" over 100,000 times! What are the ramifications of this? Just imagine. A child's only job is to just be who they are. That's it! Can you imagine that if 9 times out of 10, the child was just being him/herself and was told "No."? Eventually the child internalizes this simple word into the understanding that being the self is not okay.

The painful truth is that most of society has been raised this way. What does it mean when this child becomes an adult? That adult is shut off from his/her spirit and is living life according to someone else's rules, limitations, ideas, parameters and belief systems. This adult may be unable to make decisions without consulting others, looking to others to make the decisions for them.

This is where that underlying word "No!" setup the outside authority figure that the adult still looks for today. He/she doesn't realize, and was never really taught, that when you become an adult you also become your own authority figure. That may be an implied belief at 18. "You're an adult now and you have to make your own decisions," the 18 year old is told. This statement, however, does not include the words, "You no longer require our (parents') permission. You are your own authority now." Wow, wouldn't that have been nice if it had been spelled out like that. Unfortunately we take some of that authority and dump it into doing things that we've always wanted to do externally, like drinking, partying and more.

But, how much of that is a rebellion and how much is remembering your spirit and the inner truth of your being? It gives you something to think about.

Maybe you've never rebelled. Many women suffer from the "good girl" syndrome. This may be the worst offender in the case against remembering your spirit and inner truth. The good girl syndrome is so deeply ingrained that the child seemingly lives to please others. Others are the priority, and the self doesn't really matter. In fact, it feels as though the self doesn't even exist. It's been so long since the self had a chance to speak that there is virtually no sense of self left at all. All those times being told "No!" have accumulated into a pliable body, a seeming automaton, a robot who is only here to serve others. Sound familiar?

Is it any wonder why so many people are searching for assistance in this day and age? The book industry is loaded with self-help books. There is a growing discomfort within this world of robots. Like Robin Williams in Bicentennial Man, there is a growing desire within our own lives that makes us stop and say, "Wait a minute, this is not enough for me. I have a voice and somewhere deep down inside of me, I have a self, and it's time I found out who that is."

Being a robot no longer works for us once we have that initial awareness, that one little light bulb that turns on inside that says, "There must be something more to my life than this." That one little sentence begins a domino effect inside, tumbling down the building blocks of denial that formulated the structure of our lives at such a young age.

Once this crumbling begins, it truly is a 'brand new day.' The world begins to look different and feel different. That's because you are different. You asked a question and found a voice. Now is the time to begin the search to find your self. It's in there somewhere, underneath all those denial blocks, limitations, boundaries and belief systems. A self is waiting to be born!

Remember, our parents always did the best they could with what they knew how to do. If they had been raised any differently themselves, then they would have raised you differently, but they weren't. So, there's no blame here, plain and simple. It's just finally time to start breaking the generational family patterning. It starts with you.

Your questioning and questing breaks the chain. You know that once you remember your self, you will pass a new way of being onto your children. As you grow, learn and discover your self, you can't help but share that new expression with others. Remember to welcome your self to this world. Remember that it truly is OK to just be your SELF!

2001 Jodie Foster