I wish I had a dollar for every time I heard someone say that! When I ran a support group for my local infertility organization, practically every woman in the group who got pregnant said that very thing.

Infertility chips away at your self esteem and it makes you believe that you're unworthy of the most basic of human needs. If you've been struggling with infertility for over a year (or two or three), you begin to believe that getting pregnant is this impossible dream - it's soooo way out there that you'll never achieve it. Well...it may be helpful for you to know that almost everyone in your situation has felt that way.

A couple of weeks before I found out I was pregnant with my daughter, I was ready to throw in the towel. I told everyone in the support group I was moving on to childfree, and my husband and I started making some real plans for the future. For the past six years our lives revolved around timing intercourse, taking pregnacy tests, having miscarriages (and sometimes surgery to remove them), and spending every waking moment wondering if I had done everything possible to conceive.

And then, just when I had made peace with my decision to move on to childfree, the "impossible" happened - I was pregnant. Why is life like that? Why did I have to get to the point of hopelessness before I suceeded? Well, my theory boils down to this: When you lower your resistance, you make room for success. So what does that mean? When you want something so bad, and it's not happening, you focus more on what you don't have instead of what you do have or what you want. You try to force things into place.

When you finally give up, the flood gates open. Your dream starts chasing you instead of the other way around. I've had so many people say, "You are so lucky to get pregnant naturally at your age". Well... I have something to say about that too. I truly believe that you make your own luck. Yes, getting pregnant naturally at the age of 44 with only one tube had an element of luck, but it probably had more to do with preparedness meeting opportunity. I had refined my pregnancy protocol over six years and I think I had fine tuned my body to the point that I had a high liklihood of success give the right conditions.

So when I say "If I can get pregnant, anyone can", I mean it. Prepare your body, do everything you can to optimize your chances of conception, then get out of the way! Don't try so hard that you sabotage your success. Things will happen when the time it right.

Copyright 2006 Sandy Robertson