I dont have a lot of memories of my Dad since he left the family when I turned six and passed away when I was only nine years old but there is one memory that seems to be burnt into my brain. It was a day when just he and I were together. I was only five years old and he decided it was time to teach me how to swim. We didnt have a swimming pool; in fact, we lived out in the woods in an abandoned trailer. There was a lake within three miles of the trailer. The nearest town, named after that lake, was called Blue Lake, Michigan. Somehow he had managed to find an old row boat that he kept hidden in the woods. My older brothers tell me he was an avid fisherman and that he used to take that old row boat out almost every day.

We got to the lake and as he started uncovering the boat from the brush it was hidden under, I started getting a little nervous. Up to that point I had been so excited about going out on the lake with my dad that I had nearly wet my pants; the anxiety of the reality of the situation hadnt set in yet. When I actually realized that I was going to be in this hugedeep lake, thats when I started to worry a little. But, not too much, after all, I was with my Dad and he was going to teach me how to swim.

SOooo. He rowed that old boat out to the middle of the lake, put down the oars, looked me right in the eye and said:

Are you ready? ---- You can do this!

I heard the You can do this as I was flying thru the air over the side of the boat. He must have thrown me fifteen feet away from the boat. It was sink or swim time. Obviously, since I am still here, I learned to swim. Not without swallowing several mouthfuls of water and seeing angels dancing in the clouds; but I finally figured it out.

You are probably wondering why I started this article with a story about how I learned to swim. Well, if you are an owner that has a son or daughter working in your business, ask yourself this question.

What are you doing to teach your son or daughter how to run your business? Do you have an actual plan or are you just going to throw them over the side of the boat. If thats your plan, remember, the lake you are throwing them into is filled with alligators.

If your true desire is to keep the business in the family and pass it on to the next generation, you have an obligation to yourself, to the business, to your employees and yes to your son or daughter to make sure you are doing everything you can possibly do to help them prepare to take over the business. I can offer one simple piece of advice; when they are ready, back off and get out of the way. There are all kinds of published recommendations on this subject regarding family qualifications etc. E-mail rick@ceostrategist.com and receive a free guide titled Leadership & Succession in the Family Business.

Most kids that are heir apparent to the President or the CEO position in many cases, have been running the business for several years before they take total control simply because it is very hard for Dad to let go completely. Dads, or Mom, in some cases, try to evolve from being the boss, to coach and finally to colleague or board advisor, but this is a difficult transition. Of course, the transition is much easier if the child demonstrates exceptional competence, wisdom and vision.

If Dad is a typical old school autocratic type of leader who believes that sweating blood, an exceptional work ethic without concern for balance and shows no interest in discussing the emotional feeling side of succession, the kids will have difficulty maintaining a clear sense of expectations for themselves. They will not eagerly address interpersonal family problems and may even shut down. When that happens, the necessary skill development to take over the business becomes exceptionally difficult. Generally that results in just throwing them over the side of the boat and hoping they learn to swim.

1st & 2nd Generation Comments

I have discussed this situation with numerous 1st and 2nd generation owners and they all describe similar circumstances when describing how the torch was passed on. Many second and third generation leaders had to learn the hard way. It was sink or swim. Not all families work well together. Often times sibling rivalry impairs development. Jealousy, personal agendas and the weakness of Mom or Dad allows things to deteriorate in the family relationships as a result of the pending succession. Some families just become totally dysfunctional as a result of succession. Thats not to say that there arent any families that handle succession seamlessly and everything works out great. Many do, however, those that do have consciously planned well in advance for succession and have taken the proper steps years in advance.

What if Both the Son & Daughter want to Run the Business?

For those families that have both a son and a daughter working in the business a new wrinkle is thrown into the succession question. If both children want to take over the business a completely new set of challenges emerge. This decision should be based on the best interest of the business, individual qualifications and competency. In the old days, this was never an issue. It was just an accepted fact that the first son was the only consideration for taking over the helm. That is not the case today. The world has finally recognized the untapped skills and competencies that exist in the female population of the work force. Today, there are many female CEOs running fortune 500 companies. Although female talent is getting much greater attention these days, generally the male sibling of that female CEO candidate couldnt see his sisters talent through a pair of binoculars. Even if he does see it, he often will not acknowledge it, especially if his sister has demonstrated a higher level of competency, desire and attitude about taking over the family business than he has.

First generation Fathers generally look forward to the day their son can take over the family business. However, they often fail to realize that true succession means they will no longer be at the helm. As mentioned earlier, this is not an easy transition.

Consider the Business Culture

Keep in mind that privately held family owned businesses often develop a culture that is just an extension of the family culture. Family roles are often emulated when multiple family members work in the business. This creates additional challenges. Every family has it own by-laws, sacred cows, cherished beliefs, myths, rules and roles. Sometimes there are so many sub culture family issues left unaddressed that a big blow up occurs that can affect the entire company. However, this underbrush of sub culture issues must be cleaned up for the company to continue to grow and prosper. This makes the blow up not only imminent but necessary.

Keeping the Torch Lit ---- A Succession Guide

The answer to passing the torch is not that complicated even though execution is often difficult. Consider the following guide in setting up your succession plan and you may avoid many of the pitfalls and hopefully your son or daughter wont be thrown over the side of the boat.

Business needs should come first

Focus on the long term health of the business

Get outside opinions on the leadership skills and the leadership development of your children. (You are too close to make unbiased judgments)

Develop a family legacy statement, a family doctrine and even a family code of conduct

Establish succession requirements and qualifications (education required, outside experience required, leadership and other skills training, in-house internship requirements)

Establish specific job descriptions for family members

Establish expectations up front

Create advancement criteria up front

Establish official family compensation programs paying family members based on the position

Establish accountability and structure up front

Establish a framework for dealing with family performance issues

Create a Board of directors that is not family dominated

Make no exceptions for family regarding performance

Remember, even if you do everything right, there may come a time that you realize that your son or daughter just isnt capable of accepting the torch. If that reality hits you between the eyes and you can validate it factually with trusted board members, other trusted executives or even outside consultants, its not the end of the world. Please, dont ignore it and just throw the kid over the side of the boat. I guarantee you he will drown. There are other options. Those options range from bringing in a CEO from the outside to selling the business. Of course there are a myriad of circumstances that need to be discussed and analyzed before you make that final decision. Dont sacrifice your relationship with your child but dont be held hostage to DNA either. It just isnt worth it.

E-mail rick@ceostrategist.com for sample family legacy, family doctrine and Code of Conduct.